It has taken me rather a long time to realise that there is, in fact, no-one currently in Parliament fit to lead this country (Australia, for any overseas visitors).
It's fast becoming my opinion that (apart from Joe Hockey, who is awesome, and has an awesome name) everyone in Canberra, from top to bottom, is woefully inept at their jobs, and the country is suffering greatly under the yoke of Rudd and Swan's incompetence. It can't be mistaken - or hidden - any longer.
Anyway, of more immediate interest is the death of Michael Jackson. People have been ranting and raving about how he was an awful person, etc, and to be honest, I'm a bit sick of it. Fact is, peeps, that he was told he was practically God from before he was 10, was paid insane amounts of money, and had people worship him. Now, given that not many people experience this, I think it's a fair thing to say: "Don't Judge."
More importantly that his character flaws (or, eccentricities, as they could more accurately be described) was the incredible scope, power, and brilliance of his music. People have also been crapping on about how "heaps of people die every day, what makes this one so special?" Well, you ignorant tossers, quite aside from being one of the most successful entertainers of all time, his music touched the lives of millions of people, across decades, and generations. That's why.
To be fair, it was a good career-saving move. Everyone knows that you become more popular as a musician after death. Just ask Jeff Buckley. Hallelujah.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
It's Moments Like These...
This post is rather short. In fact, all I really have to say, is that the Minties "artist" "Jeremy" really needs to get his act together, and make some more Mintie wrapper cartoons. Here follows a list of circumstances that fit the slogan "It's moments like these you need Minties"...
1. People sitting around a television, watching the election result and seeing Kevin Rudd won the damn thing.
2. A bunyip has eaten a dog (in which instance, he needs to freshen his breath).
3. MacGuyver has made a helicopter out of string, a stocking with holes in it, and a broken DVD player, and has adbucted your Mum.
4. You come out of the tattooist with 54 stars on your face, claiming to have fallen asleep, only to later withdraw the statement, and admit to actually being so stupid as to want 54 stars on your face.
5. You realise you've run out of Minties.
So get to it, Jeremy! I've done the hard work for you!
1. People sitting around a television, watching the election result and seeing Kevin Rudd won the damn thing.
2. A bunyip has eaten a dog (in which instance, he needs to freshen his breath).
3. MacGuyver has made a helicopter out of string, a stocking with holes in it, and a broken DVD player, and has adbucted your Mum.
4. You come out of the tattooist with 54 stars on your face, claiming to have fallen asleep, only to later withdraw the statement, and admit to actually being so stupid as to want 54 stars on your face.
5. You realise you've run out of Minties.
So get to it, Jeremy! I've done the hard work for you!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
It has been a while
Hi peeps. It has been a long while since I've had the inclination to blog anything. But, the time has come, and I have made a return.
The cause of this return is (as usual) a rant. My rant this evening has to do with people who cannot order a standard dish/drink/whatever when they go out into the world of restaurants and eateries, and instead feel the need to throw away the conformity and safety of a menu for some derring-do of their own creation.
Not happy people! There is a reason menus exist - it's what cafes and restaurants are prepared to serve you. No, you may not have olives with that. I'm afraid it doesn't come with bacon, no, but to be honest, you hardly appear to need it. I'm sure you'd like me to put hundreds and thousands on your babycino, but then I'd like to be Emperor of the World with a TARDIS and a cool hat.
So next time you find yourself about to annoy some poor waiter, chef, cook, barista, please, know this - they judge you. In kitchens, behind coffee bars, we do silently mock the strange things you order. It's insidious: you'll never know. But it happens. "Imagine the hide", one such conversation may go "they wanted NO FROTH AT ALL on their flat white. You can't make good creamy milk without froth. Philistines."
Also, it's worth noting that saying "Oh, I'm sorry to be a pain, but..." does not actually make the process of sorting out your idiotic dish any easier that it otherwise would be. It's like assuming that if the guards at Auschwitz had apologised before torturing the Jews, then all would have been well. And we all know that's not the case.
Over and out. Hope you're all well.
Blake.
The cause of this return is (as usual) a rant. My rant this evening has to do with people who cannot order a standard dish/drink/whatever when they go out into the world of restaurants and eateries, and instead feel the need to throw away the conformity and safety of a menu for some derring-do of their own creation.
Not happy people! There is a reason menus exist - it's what cafes and restaurants are prepared to serve you. No, you may not have olives with that. I'm afraid it doesn't come with bacon, no, but to be honest, you hardly appear to need it. I'm sure you'd like me to put hundreds and thousands on your babycino, but then I'd like to be Emperor of the World with a TARDIS and a cool hat.
So next time you find yourself about to annoy some poor waiter, chef, cook, barista, please, know this - they judge you. In kitchens, behind coffee bars, we do silently mock the strange things you order. It's insidious: you'll never know. But it happens. "Imagine the hide", one such conversation may go "they wanted NO FROTH AT ALL on their flat white. You can't make good creamy milk without froth. Philistines."
Also, it's worth noting that saying "Oh, I'm sorry to be a pain, but..." does not actually make the process of sorting out your idiotic dish any easier that it otherwise would be. It's like assuming that if the guards at Auschwitz had apologised before torturing the Jews, then all would have been well. And we all know that's not the case.
Over and out. Hope you're all well.
Blake.
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