It has been a while

Hi peeps. It has been a long while since I've had the inclination to blog anything. But, the time has come, and I have made a return.

The cause of this return is (as usual) a rant. My rant this evening has to do with people who cannot order a standard dish/drink/whatever when they go out into the world of restaurants and eateries, and instead feel the need to throw away the conformity and safety of a menu for some derring-do of their own creation.

Not happy people! There is a reason menus exist - it's what cafes and restaurants are prepared to serve you. No, you may not have olives with that. I'm afraid it doesn't come with bacon, no, but to be honest, you hardly appear to need it. I'm sure you'd like me to put hundreds and thousands on your babycino, but then I'd like to be Emperor of the World with a TARDIS and a cool hat.

So next time you find yourself about to annoy some poor waiter, chef, cook, barista, please, know this - they judge you. In kitchens, behind coffee bars, we do silently mock the strange things you order. It's insidious: you'll never know. But it happens. "Imagine the hide", one such conversation may go "they wanted NO FROTH AT ALL on their flat white. You can't make good creamy milk without froth. Philistines."

Also, it's worth noting that saying "Oh, I'm sorry to be a pain, but..." does not actually make the process of sorting out your idiotic dish any easier that it otherwise would be. It's like assuming that if the guards at Auschwitz had apologised before torturing the Jews, then all would have been well. And we all know that's not the case.

Over and out. Hope you're all well.

Blake.